8. He's just not that into...Diabetes.

I’ve recently been through a difficult breakup. During our two and a half years together, through ups and downs… one common factor has always been my, often poor, health.

Unfortunately chronic illness takes it’s toll not only on the ones afflicted, but of course everyone surrounding them, including and predominantly significantly others. The ones we love most.

It can be such a difficult decision to be with someone at all. We bring baggage into a relationship automatically. We suffer … and our lovers suffer with us. We have depression and our mates are at a loss as to how to comfort us. It is not an easy life we offer them.

And so the ones we love… do we hold on to them, build lives with them, and a “forever”? It’s been a constant debate in my mind. When you love someone you naturally want what is best for them. Maybe being with some one sick is not the best life we can offer them. Maybe it isn’t fair to them.

But maybe being sick isn’t fair to us.

And you know I don’t necessarily mean physically sick. My mental health has occasionally been shaky. Depression can be incapacitating. Anxiety limits you.

Are we limiting ourselves with these things?

Dating is hard. Love takes work. Throw illness and the insecurities it brings into the mix and maybe it’s impossible. Your significant other has a tall order to fill.

Not only to potentially have to take care of our physical need should something go wrong, but they need to be a support system in every other way as well. They need to truly understand illness. If someone has never had an affliction, never had an immediate family member with one, that is tough to do.

Among other things, try as we might, my relationship could not withstand this test. But I’m hopeful. I have the potential to live and love and build a life. I have a fantastic life to offer.

I don’t want to date because I’m scared of bringing someone knew into my chaos.

I don’t want to be alone and single.

Unfortunately there is no third option.

Is there?

Well there IS Oscar. My dachshund puppy. My little man. He listens to me. He cuddles with me. He will go for walks and adventures with me and share my popcorn. That’s almost as good. Right?
…..
…..right?