9. Are you lovin' it?

I don’t smoke.
I rarely have a drink.
I don’t really have any substance abuse problems at all.

Except maybe one….. Mcdonalds.

It’s awful isn’t it? Makes your stomach churn? I know. I find that people have a love/hate relationship with this fast-food chain. You love it, or you hate it. Am I right?

I love it.

And I hate it.

I eat McDonalds often (far more often than I should), and no matter what I order it’s so awesome when I am stuffing my face with the glorious greasiness, and then the worst thing ever the literal second I am finished. Oh my stomach hates it. And yet I still go back… time after time. I can’t stop myself…

I have a thing for McDonald’s breakfast (and I know I’m not the only one…).

Carb-tastic.

I order the Bacon + Egg bagel-with-no-egg. I swear I feel like an absolute moron every time I order it, but hey, they always know what I mean. What can I say, I am allergic to eggs (I had a friend who recently converted to vegetarian-ism and now orders cheeseburgers with no meat… I thought it was so funny until I learned that McDonalds actually has a button for that on their cash register! Crazy.) I also find that the more you go, the more you want it.

It is so addictive.

It was a blow when I had to take the “egg” part of it out. Just awful. I watch other people eating eggs around me and it actually makes me mad sometimes. It was such a perfect no-carb food. In the beginning I was so upset about it that I refused to stop eating them ( oh me and my Denial…) was that ever not worth it. I get so sick. But we are all sort of in the same boat, aren’t we? Do you eat sugar-full ice cream? If you don’t… does it sometimes make you mad that you feel like you can’t? Well, maybe ice-cream isn’t your thing… but everyone must have a vice of some kind. It’s true that it’s not really fair.

That’s the thing about fast-food. It’s fast. I work full time, I have class all night two nights a week, I have a study partner another night and tons and tons of homework. And family, and friends and my own projects, and my dog. That’s only my normal-person stuff. I also have to check sugars what feels like every five seconds and calculate insulin and inject and carb count and sheesh! Who has time for it all? And on top of it we are supposed to cook well and eat well and exercise. It can get to be too much….

Who could resist a drive through when you’re rushed and starving and don’t have the ability to cook healthy meals for the next couple of days after school at 10pm? The yellow arch all glowing and omnipresent sure starts to look good.

For some reason I can never seem to get the insulin-to-gross-McDonalds-food ratio quite right. I guess that’s my biggest problem with it right now. That, and that I need to just eat less of it in general. I have accepted that McDonalds will probably always be my “problem”, but that if I cut back, it may be less detrimental. It’s not that I don’t like healthy foods, because I do. In fact I eat better than most people I know. I just like UNhealthy foods much better.

I’m still lovin’ it….