What happened to Compassion?

I used to make it a regular practice to buy at least one thing every time I went to the grocery store, that I would put into the food bank bin.

I would reason that someday, at some point in my life I will be in need of social services such as this. As a matter of duty I feel I should contribute now.

I am not naturally inclined to be charitable. When I say that I don’t mean to imply that I’m not generous or giving. I just mean it’s not in my nature. It’s something that I actively work at on a daily basis. In a lot of ways we live in a selfish world where each person must watch out for themselves first.

Dog eat dog.

I was out at a pub one night with some friends. The alcohol induced conversation drifted towards the state of the world. Lily, my friend who has single-handedly-decided-to-Save-The-World was getting heated about a food plight somewhere in Africa. She slammed her hand down on the table and demanded:

“Why don’t people care?”

To me the answer was clear as day:

“Lily, no one has time to care.”

I went on to explain how it’s taking up most of my energy trying to gain some control over my own illness and my own life to be able to contemplate the issues Africa is facing. My boyfriend at the time agreed and pointed out that if it wasn’t for the fact that I had diabetes, and that was something we dealt with everyday – then he wouldn’t have as much energy invested in it himself.

I’ve thought about that conversation a lot.

There are so many challenges we face in our lives. So many big, big things. So many health conditions, so many financial situations and family difficulties. Issues with lovers and stress over careers.

Big, big things.

Right now my challenge is diabetes. (Maybe it’s yours too?) Maybe it’s also my excuse.

The answer I gave to my friend was honest. But it was also shameful. We all have so much on our plates it’s hard to see beyond it.

That’s the problem.

On another day this friend of mine, Lily was lamenting on my condition. She was saying it was terrible that I’ve had to deal with all this. But maybe I could look at the good things it gave me.

I was doubtful but curious.

She said I would never have achieved such an understanding and compassion for the pain, illness, and discouragement of others any other way.

It’s a backwards gift.

But we all have it.

We all know how it feels to be afraid. To crave comfort. To feel misunderstood.

Or to feel pain. Exhaustion.

Can’t that be put to better use?

I can’t save Africa. But I can save some one.
I can listen to a friend who needs a shoulder.
I can put a can of food in the food bank.
I can smile at someone instead of frown.

I guess what I’m saying is that I can try.
I don’t want to be one of those people so consumed with their own problems they can’t see anything else. Heaven knows I’ve thrown myself enough pity-parties complete with full seasons of FRIENDS on DVD and pints of ice cream (sugar-free of course).

So no more pity-parties.
Well, less of them anyways.

The people around me have noticed a change. I don’t seem like a grouch anymore. I’m not always miserable. When you make an effort to help someone else who may be suffering – it makes your own a little less.

I promise you this.